Posted by: Kash Farooq | October 18, 2010

Weird Homeopathy – ‘Tempesta’ – made from thunderstorm

A new addition to the Weird Homeopathy Lista remedy created by putting a bottle outside during a thunderstorm.

Lighting

This is a genuine remedy created by homeopathic expert, Mary.

Mary points out that gathering the results for this homeopathic proving took weeks and “was conducted in a professional, caring manner”. She would therefore appreciate commentators taking the same level of care when ripping it apart discussing it.

Well, I’ll try!

Mary had the idea for creating the remedy whilst sitting on her back step during a storm. She ran in, grabbed a bottle and left it in the garden. There was rain. There was thunder. After the storm, she added some brandy to the bottle and forgot all about it.

A few weeks later, whilst having drinks with friends, she remembered the bottle. What can spice up a party more than brandy with some rainwater collected during a thunderstorm? I do believe only hard drugs will suffice if you don’t have such a brandy-lightening-rainwater concoction lying around.

Everyone was game, including Mary’s sister. She’s an Aquarius, so obviously she was up for it (a 12th of the population of the planet are up for ANYTHING, apparently). So they added a drop to their drinks and that was that.  Yes, they added just a drop. You don’t want to overdo it. You don’t what may happen. Aquarians or up for anything, but they’re not stupid.

Weeks later Mary’s sister had met a bloke! And one Mary’s other friends had found a new girlfriend!

Had Mary discovered…a…..a….I can hardly bring myself to write it….a love potion?

Mary was so excited by this possibility she took some more of the remedy. No, no, no Mary. More is not what you do with homeopathic remedies. She overdid it and had a very short-lived fling.

So, Mary is now convinced she’s on to something. During the next thunderstorm she rushed out and collected more rainwater. The next day she sent it off to be made into a 6C remedy. Of course, it had to be 6C only – can you imagine how powerful this stuff would be if you made it into 30C? You’d have people of the opposite sex spontaneously combusting around you. She wanted to use the 6C remedy in an “official proving” (using ancient texts and everything) so that she was would not be mocked by other homeopaths.

Don’t worry about that, Mary. No one will mock you.

Mary even had a hypothesis for why the remedy had the LUUURVE qualities it was clearly demonstrating. “Basically the inside of a storm cloud is chaos trying to find a way to sort itself out and re-balance”. And that’s the same as finding a relationship. I think.

So, in 1999 she gathered her provers. Using her astrology skills she ensured she had a cross-section of personalities. Astrology is such an under used skill in the world of homeopathy. They should force all homeopaths to take astrology courses. How can they do their jobs properly otherwise?

The provers documented all sorts of information including:

  • Dreams: “I was with an alien that was yellow and furry”. Cool!
  • State of their mind: “Mentally I felt a little confused”. Don’t we all.
  • Physical: “Laxative effect, soft stool twice in morning rather than once, and more formed”. Thanks for sharing.
  • LUUURVE Themes: “Builders were working outdoors stripped to the waist, I thought they had good bodies”. Hope you wolf-whistled.

Anyway, over the next few years her provers started finding themselves in relationship. Yes. I know what you’re thinking. This is PROOF. After an indeterminate number of years after taking Mary’s ‘Tempesta”…..BAM!…her provers were finding love and happiness. It just has to be because of the remedy.

And all this because of Mary’s amazing homeopathic LUUURVE potion. So far, 4 marriages have happened and, in fact, two of the provers got married! As Mary points out: “Surely there must be more to this remedy than meets the eye?”

Yes, Mary. Surely there must.


Responses

  1. No… wait… like cures like – therefore thunderstorms MUST cause relationships to break up?

    In my experience, Thunderstorms can be quite romantic… just saying. But that is only an anecdote…

    Excellent post. But you forgot to put scare quotes around homeopathic “expert”😉

  2. Excellent.

    And to think that all those times I was caught in a storm I shouldn’t have worried about getting into dry clothes. I should have just humped the first woman I saw!

    Oh, well, there’s always a next time!

  3. Hahaha! Crazy crazy homeopaths, I shall look out for the next storm =D

  4. Sexual attraction is down to static electricity. Thunderstorms are basically the big guy in the sky rubbing balloons on his nylon jumper.

    Or is it down to magnetism? I can never remember.

    • This explains everything!

      I think.

  5. brings a new meaning to the term “a dose of the clap”

  6. Thunderstorm Love Potion could be a good name for a rock band. In fact… didn’t they open once for Roadkill Badger?


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