A guest post by Fernando Frias.
As we all know, homeopaths use water to prepare remedies. Er… well, I mean that they sell remedies consisting solely of water. Hmmmm… Let me explain: they also use water as a “mother tincture”, then dilute it (yes, in more water), “dynamize” it and so on.
Very good examples of such remedies are the “Dynamized Water from Seas, Rivers and Oceans” remedies sold by “Londner’s Vibrational Essences” of Argentina. The website states:
“Dynamization of natural waters produces essences of high energetic potential. Dr. Rossomando has selected those Seas, Oceans and Rivers that by their signature represent the chakras of the Earth.”
See? They talk about the chakras, so it must be something very scientific. In fact, the website is very sciency and also states that:
“Due to their biosaline components and similarity to blood plasma, these waters have not only a harmonizing effect on negative mental and emotional states, but also beneficial effects on cells and tissues. At cellular level, they help the body eliminate toxins and provide essential nutrients in micro doses. Being prepared in small doses, their action is deep and stable on all biopsychoenergetic levels.”
As we say in Spanish, “con un par”.
A PDF file entitled “AMOR” (“love” in Spanish) documents the remedies. AMOR is not a statement that they hold us in their highest regard – in fact, judging by the contents of the PDF it rather seems that they take us for complete idiots. AMOR is an acronym comprising the initials of Aguas de Mares, Océanos y Ríos (Water from Seas, Oceans and Rivers). With this piece of work we are dealing with a masterpiece of humour:
“Water is the best vehicle that stores, memorizes and dynamizes, in a stable and lasting form, vibrations received from the environment in which it is. Given that AMOR Essences are made with water from natural sources, we have paid special attention to the geological areas and ecosystems of which they form part.”
So… how have they paid attention to these geological areas? Well, in a very homeopathic way, of course. For example, the document explains that the Arctic Ocean waters are particularly suitable:
“For those people who are in a desertic stage of their lives. Feeling of emptiness, loss of life sense. It’s roots are in lack of affection and warmth, in childhood, with feelings of abandonment.”
And Antarctica, described as “The Root Chakra of the Earth” (which, whatever that means, sounds very impressive):
“Helps break frozen patterns in family constellations. Cool tempers. Difficulty of speech. Stormy mood. Night terrors. Desertic times.”
And what are they trying to say about the Indian Ocean?
“Lack of goals. Apathy. Lack of security. Depressions. Bipolar personalities.”
The examples become even more hilarious.
According to the priceless document, for the Atlantic Ocean remedy:
“The huge Mid-Atlantic Ridge, which runs from Iceland to near Antarctica, resembles a stylized ‘S’, like a VERTEBRAL column. This signature affects its ability to improve the energy flow of the spine.” [Capitals, as the rest of the nonsense, are in the original].
Now we all know that the Mediterranean has been the cradle of many civilizations, trade route since the rise commerce, and inspiration for all kinds of artists, right? And the authors of the document know that too:
“Let us discover the healthy and enriching contrasts that life offers us, leaving the routine and boredom. Psychophysical balance recovery after CHANGES. Reparation of stress-motivated wear. Abundance and development of economic sense. Ability to concentrate and work. Helps develop artistic skills and creativity in very rational and calculating persons.”
On to the Black Sea, a sea that they describe as being “invaded by the waters of the Mediterranean, then was again isolated” and its history being “intimately connected with the Universal Flood.” So it serves to treat… yes, you’ve guessed it:
“Some emotional characteristics covered by this essence are the feeling that what used to be is not the same now. Also search states, disorientation, states in which there is an enormous breakthrough of emotions, feeling of being drowned and high anxiety. It helps in disasters, extreme situations and post-traumatic depression. To perceive the changes before being surprised by the unforeseen.”
For the Red Sea:
“Let’s face the difficulties and walk through them. Development of faith and perseverance.”
How about the legend of the Amazons, who gave their name to the Amazon River? Those waters are used to treat:
“Women overly masculine, conflict with authority. Tendency to oppress the children and “castrate” them emotionally. Homosexuality related conflicts.”
I’ll leave the rest for you to read, if you have the stomach and, above all, strong enough bladder. I surrendered long before reaching the bit that says that:
“In all cases, water was brought specially here, which was subjected to a process that includes, in addition to the dynamization, preparing it at a special time of the moon cycle, in combination with the application of harmonic sound frequencies and in hexagonal crystal fountains.”
Fernando Frias is a Spanish lawyer, writer and founder of Círculo Escéptico, Blogs at El fondo del asunto and La lista de la vergüenza, and is a contributor of the most important popular science website in Spanish, Amazings.